


Acceptance

by StevetheIcecube



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Autistic Link, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Post Breath of the Wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-10-28 21:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10839738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StevetheIcecube/pseuds/StevetheIcecube
Summary: Link is struggling to cope with Zelda's company. First, Zelda is determined to 'fix' him, but together they learn that not everything that causes difficulty is broken.





	1. A 'Problem'

Everything was over but he just felt like he was stuck in a hole somewhere. 

Zelda. She was beautiful and radiant. He remembered more of her than of everyone else. But whenever she spoke he just wanted to go and hide somewhere. 

He felt like maybe he was underwater sometimes. There was pressure all around him, but he didn't know from what. Life was exhausting and touch was worse. 

Zelda was lonely. She wanted a companion after so many years but he just spent the whole time desperately hoping that the companion she wanted wasn't him. Someone else. It had to be someone else.

He couldn't meet her eyes. If she tried to look at him properly, he felt sick and wrong and terrible. Sometimes the world started spinning and he had to look away. 

He liked her voice. But it was loud; she was joyful after so many years locked away and when she spoke loudly, hoping it would carry across the field so the birds could hear and react and she could prove she was real, he felt like he could drop to the ground with his hands over his ears. Sometimes, when she sang to herself, he had to push his fingers into his ears and hope she didn't notice. She probably did and he hoped she didn't think her singing was bad. He was glad she was happy enough to sing, because he wasn't.

He felt tired and miserable and empty. His clothes were too heavy on his body, and they pulled and chafed. Sometimes wearing clothes was physically painful, but he had to do it every day anyway. Sometimes he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but he had to be strong for Zelda. Sometimes, he couldn't stop himself from curling up and crying. He was barely aware, then, and he hoped Zelda didn't notice. He knew she did.

"How are you feeling?" It was a suspiciously innocent question from Zelda, but he knew it had more meaning than that. She never asked him direct questions because it was very often that he just couldn't answer.

Words failed him, just as they always did, but it felt worse this time because he knew Zelda was looking for that response to tell her that he was feeling awful. In reality, he'd been okay until she asked the question and fear suddenly seized him. Now there was so much pressure he didn't even know how to react.

"It's okay," Zelda said, but her whole voice was filled with a sort of disappointment that made him feel so much worse. "I understand that you find things hard sometimes. You can talk when you feel like it, is that okay?"

All Link could do was nod and hope she didn't want to talk, not really. Because he didn't think he could be honest about how he felt.

Silence continued, but it wasn't silent enough. Zelda talked; maybe to her horse, maybe to him, he didn't even know. He tried to convince himself that it was just background noise. If her voice was part of nature, he could ignore it and get on with riding without wanting to double over and cry. As it stood, he sort of wanted to just lean forward, fall off his horse, and leave her to go on without him.

As it stood, he missed her talking to him until she called his name several times. "Link, have I done something wrong?" She asked. "You're different to how I remember, which isn't your fault of course, but I want to know if it's something I can help you with."

Link opened his mouth to tell her that he was okay, just unused to company (that was probably a lie because he didn't think he was going to get used to her), but when he tried he couldn't get the words out. He just shrugged, defeated, and pulled his eyes back to the road so he didn't have to see the sadness on her face.

Another day. They were nearing their first destination now: Kakariko Village. Zelda wanted to meet with Impa, and Link wanted to sit in an empty field with Epona and do nothing, or maybe he could go swimming in a spring. Something that didn't involve people, or talking, or Zelda's voice being just slightly too loud. 

He slipped away as she reached the house. He was vaguely aware that she was upset and she probably needed some support, but Impa probably knew how to do that better than he did. He didn't understand anyone's feelings, not even his own.

Zelda called after him as he left, but he pretended he hadn't heard. He really, really needed to be alone. 

Hours passed. Many hours. All Link did was lie on his back in the grass with his eyes closed. He used to see a Guardian out here, but it was gone. He'd seen the empty shell on his way out, and he'd pulled a spring from its innards.

"Link?" He jumped as Zelda's voice drifted towards him. "Are you out here? Impa said you might be."

Link tried to disguise his sigh and sat up. He didn't want to talk to her, not after he'd been so rude (all the regrets had been circling in his mind for hours now), but he knew he probably could now. The pressure was gone and he felt a lot better. "I'm here," he said.

Zelda started towards him immediately, flopping down on the grass in a slightly exaggerated way. When Link looked over, it was clear her eyes were slightly sore from tears. "Impa said that you like coming out here when you come to the village."

"There used to be a Guardian," he said. "I cleared it out every time I came here, if it had resurrected. And it's peaceful out here." 

"It is," Zelda said. She was smiling slightly. "I- I was talking to Impa. About what should happen next." And this was where she would tell him that she wanted him to keep going with her. "But we also talked about you."

"About me?" About his failings, no doubt. Every time he'd ever done something wrong. How Zelda knew he couldn't go on but wanting him to anyway.

"She just confirmed what I thought," Zelda said. "But I'll let you tell me yourself, if you can. And then we can talk about how I can help you and what you want to do next."

"I'm fine," he lied. He was fine now, if a little nervous and guilty, so it was sort of the truth. Just not most of the time. Zelda looked at him, her disapproval clear. "I'm fine now."

"After lying in a field for three hours," she said. "But we can't do that twice or three times a day, so I need to know what's wrong. I don't want it to get to the point where you can't speak or be with others. Earlier it was like you weren't even there."

The words were so accusatory that Link's breath caught in his throat for just a moment. She was barely keeping a lid on frustration, and at some point she would likely shout and storm off. "I don't know what it is," he said, and somehow it was hard to say. "I just can't deal with it. Sounds, touch, people. I was..." He was okay when he was on his own. He couldn't say that to her, though. It would hurt her too much.

"You were better before," Zelda said, and she sounded a little defeated. "I know. That's why I want to help. What do you think I could do?"

"I don't know," he said. He couldn't ask her to leave him alone or just not speak. It wasn't fair to ask her to stop being herself just for his comfort. "I'll be okay. I'm sure I'll get used to it and be like how you knew me before."

Zelda sighed and shook her head. "Tell me what hurts you," she said, "and I'll do my best to work around it."

"I don't know," he said again. He could feel the panic rising and he knew that if she pressed him much further he wouldn't be able to go on with the conversation. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me that makes me so different to you."

"I talked about it with Impa," Zelda said. "A hundred years ago, we recovered only a handful of ancient texts. Paper is so easily destroyed, but a few survived in sealed boxes. Some are medical texts. Can you read? I think it would be better if you read it."

"Of course I can read," he said, unable to disguise that he was a little annoyed. "Most people can read. The Slate is covered in sections with text."

"Okay, then," Zelda said. "Are you able to go back into the village, do you think? The text is stored in Impa's house."

Link nodded, standing up and turning so he could head back in the direction of the village. He wasn't too hopeful that there would be any kind of solution in there. This was something he had to deal with, something he'd felt since he woke up. It wasn't going to go away with some magic words or anything absurd like that.

"Me and Impa were mostly talking about the differences in the world," Zelda said, walking alongside him. "I have so much to learn and so much to see! I can't wait to rediscover my home and I hope you'll be able to do it with me.

"Then we were talking about how you'd changed. I didn't just go straight in with 'Link has changed', don't worry! It wasn't anything sinister like that." Link didn't have the heart to tell her that her voice was hurting him. She liked talking and he knew he was meant to be listening. "She agrees that you're different. It's nothing too serious, I suppose, you're just quieter and you like being around people even less."

"And sometimes I lose it and curl up and cry," he mumbled, hoping Zelda wouldn't question what he'd said. Sadly, however, she also managed to hear what it was.

"Actually, you used to do that anyway," Zelda said. Link looked over at her. Surely she was joking? "I think you used to hide it at first, but once you were more comfortable around me it happened a few times. You told me it had been 'happening all your life but didn't affect your ability to serve'. That was almost exactly what you said."

The other part of it went unspoken: if Zelda had believed that at the time, she now didn't believe it was true. It had become a problem, the first problem she needed to solve on her journey to reclaim her kingdom. And she wasn't going to stop until she solved it.


	2. And Next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a breaking point.

Link wasn't quite sure how to feel when Zelda set out the huge book out on the ground in front of them. It wasn't that Hyrule didn't have books anymore, it was just that there was very little demand so there weren't very many of them. Link had a couple stashed away in Hateno Village, but that was all, which made this precious. 

They were sitting cross legged on the floor in the inn, where Impa said they should stay for the next couple of nights. The villagers who ran it weren't asking for any money, but Link knew that had probably come grudgingly. He'd give them a few rupees on his way out if they were nice, he imagined. 

It took Zelda a while to find the page she wanted. As far as Link could tell, it was a book of illnesses and cures with all kinds of names he didn't really understand. A lot of the entries referred to things that didn't make any sense, like 'pollution' and 'post-resuscitation'. He didn't really think he was ill as such, it was just that something strange had happened to him somewhere which meant he wasn't like everyone else, but he didn't want to interrupt Zelda as he knew she knew more about this sort of thing than he did.

"Here," Zelda said, opening to a page that was titled 'Brain Defects in Children'. Link tried to ignore the implications of that sentence, and even if he didn't understand exactly what a brain was he knew what a defect was. Zelda was saying there was something terribly wrong with him. "It's meant to be for children and you're an adult, but I don't think that's important. The brain is presumably what the ancient people called the mind."

Link nodded, already looking over the page. In some ways, it just didn't fit. He didn't scream when things didn't go his way. He wasn't incapable of 'understanding or replicating' speech. The main thing they pointed out was low ability across all pursuits, physical or intellectual. It didn't make any sense. "This isn't right," he said. "I'm not like this."

"Not all the time," Zelda said. "And not with everything here. But look, here there's a part on sensitivity to noise and touch, and at this part it talks about how the children don't meet people's eyes when they speak and struggle to function in crowds."

"Okay," he said, mostly because he had no idea what to say. He felt like Zelda was examining him for something and she'd already decided what she was going to do next. "And what does it say about helping me? If this is what you think is wrong." Saying it like that left a bad taste on his tongue and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

"It suggests several strange things," Zelda said. "Something about wood smoke, something about electricity." Link shuddered. He didn't like where this was going. "But Impa said that would be dangerous, and really the best way to deal with it would be to take it slowly and understand you. The text talks about an intervention, and I think it's too late for that, so I guess I willing to just... Link? Where are you going?"

"Away." He couldn't deal with this. He was willing to give it a chance but he couldn't stand how she spoke endlessly in her slightly too loud voice about how there was something fundamentally wrong with him and it was too late to save him but she was willing to try and accommodate him. He couldn't do it.

"Link, stop! There's no need to be upset about his, I'm just trying to help you!" Zelda called after him, but he was already going. He couldn't stay here like this if that was how everything was going to go. He couldn't act as if he wasn't hurt by how Zelda was treating him. If this was how it was going to be, Zelda could do it all without him.

-

When Link decided to go away, he knew exactly where he was going. He grabbed his bag on his way out, glad he was yet to remove anything important, and threw a purple rupee in the direction of the owner. Then he took Epona and rode away. 

No one tried to stop him; no one knew why he was going. No one knew that his intention was to leave forever. But it helped as soon as he was out of the village. His breathing felt easier, and even though he was mostly riding through the night he just felt content. For the first time in his memory, he was truly free. Zelda was safe and she didn't want him as he was, so he could be himself. Free.

The sun was just starting to rise when Link managed to make his way up to his house in Hateno Village. He stabled Epona quickly, knowing she would want to rest and eat hay, and then he stumbled into his house. It smelled of home and the few quiet moments in his quest: wood fires using proper firewood, clothes dye, cooking apples, and the yellow flowers he collected for beside his bed. The one currently there was shrivelled and brown, but he'd collected new ones on the way in so it was okay. 

He was home, and he was happy. Now he could begin the rest of his life, no longer plagued by a princess who wanted him to be the man he didn't remember and more.

-

Life in the village was sleepy and happy and everything Link wanted it to be. He got up long after sunrise every single day and walked into town to see if there were any reports of lingering monsters or bandits or just runaway animals or maybe missing children. If there wasn't anything, he'd wander down to the beach for a swim or over to a cliff side to watch the waves. If he was feeling particularly sociable, he'd go up to the tech lab and help Purah. She questioned him once on why Zelda wasn't there, but he lied and told her she was working on something and told him to go home. 

It was a good life. Link didn't have to worry about if he was about to die. If he didn't feel like being around people, he could just go and be by himself. He didn't even have to leave his bed if he didn't want to. It was wonderful and he was free. 

Zelda showed up a few weeks into his new, happy life. He saw her from the top of the hill as she made her way into the village with an escort of several Sheikah warriors. Without thinking, he bolted his door shut as he left, grabbed his pack, and left the village to go foraging for food in the forest. Maybe he'd go further. If the mood took him, he'd go off to Akkala to visit Robbie.

A week later saw him in Rito Village, visiting Kass and his family to let them know that everything was over and they would be okay now. When night fell and the children ran off to go to sleep, Kass spoke more. 

"How are you really, Link?" He asked. The question didn't really take him by surprise; he knew he was tense and people were worried about him. He'd noticed on the way across Hyrule, but he hadn't had time to stop in case one of the villagers saw him leaving.

"I'm fine at the moment," he said. He normally was. It was just the thought of the princess which made everything seize up. "I had a disagreement with someone and I don't know how to sort it, but it's mostly been in the back of my mind."

"I think it may be a little more important than that," Kass said with a small frown. "Sometimes you seem happier, but everyone does. Sometimes I see that there is something gnawing at you."

That was exactly how it felt. The worry consumed him at almost every hour and he never knew what to do. She needed his company, but giving it was unbearable now he knew how she really felt. She thought there was something irreversibly wrong with him. "I don't even know if I want to solve it. It's...complicated."

"You can tell me," Kass said. "I must say, I have rather a lot of experience with tales of strife." He laughed.

"It's hard to explain," Link said. "I was fine, but being with people is tiring. Once everything was over, I was with Zelda all the time and that was tiring. So she said she wanted to help, but the way she said it made it sound like there was something very wrong with me that would never be right."

"I think everyone struggles with people being exhausting sometimes," Kass said with a chuckle. "I think it might have been pulled out of proportion a little. You should try and talk to her."

"That's not how it is," Link protested. "There is something different. Maybe it's even something wrong. But I can be fine when I'm not under pressure to suddenly get better or whatever was expected of me. I want to talk to her but I don't want to be a burden on her."

"You are not a burden," Kass said firmly. "She wants to help you because she wants you to be happy. You've fulfilled any perceived purpose you were bound to by prophecy. What you do next must be based around your wellbeing and what you feel happiest doing. If you want to talk to her, do. Just make sure she knows that you have your own feelings about your future too."

-

Link went back to Hateno Village the next day, his head held high and his cheer almost entirely restored by his conversation with Kass. He was important to the princess; that was why she wanted his help. And she would want to help him in return and she was probably unaware of how her choice in words showed how she thought about him. It sort of hurt to think of it that way, but there was also an amount of optimism. Maybe she would really help this time.

When he arrived, he went home, and he found that Zelda had left the morning before. She left a note for him saying that she was going back to Kakariko Village and she knew that he lived here sometimes and she would like it if he came to speak to her. Link sighed. One night in a bed that was his own was all he wanted at the moment. He'd stay the night and then set off in the morning. Maybe he'd be able to find a solution to this. Maybe she'd understand this time.

He set off early, resolve still firmly set, but as he rode he felt his nervousness rising. He couldn't do this. He could remember so clearly the way she just dismissed him, he way she told him he had a child's brain defect which would never go away. The way she spoke about it, it seemed like she would happily subject him to pain to 'fix' him but Impa had told her it was too dangerous. His resolve faltered and he stopped riding. He could set up camp in the forest for the rest of the day and decide what to do in the morning.

Two days later, he'd finally stopped debating it in his head and actually rode into Kakariko Village. It was only three or four days since Zelda had left the letter, so she was still staying in the inn free of charge. This time, when he approached, he noticed she had new guards. Sheikah guards, who were probably a lot better at guarding her. Link saw them and the way they were blocking the door and how he'd probably have to talk to them to get in, so he walked away, out into the field again. Someone would let Zelda know that he'd been in town, and maybe she'd know where to find him.

"Link?" He'd only been sitting there for half an hour, so her speed was really quite impressive. Maybe her guard had reported to her immediately. 

Opening eyes he hadn't even realised he'd closed, he saw Zelda standing there. She'd changed out of her travelling clothes and into some more traditional Sheikah clothing, and there was a guard at her side. He looked away again, not saying a word. He didn't want to talk about this with someone else here, especially not if that someone was his replacement.

"You can go now, Aran," she said. "Link will protect me if anything should happen, though I don't imagine it will." Link tried to pretend this didn't affect him, keeping as still as he could. "Go on! That's an order, not an option. This is a private conversation."

Link didn't hear the footsteps of the retreating Sheikah, but he knew he was gone by the way Zelda let out a soft sigh. "Thanks," he said, but he didn't really want her to know just how much it hurt him that she'd already replaced him. He wasn't surprised and he didn't hold it against her, but he was still upset about it.

"Thank you for coming to talk to me," Zelda said. "I know you left Hateno Village as soon as I arrived, but I...I understand why. How are you? Was your journey safe, and as comfortable as it can be on the back of a horse?"

"It was fine," he said. He couldn't think of anything else to say. "I'm fine, too. Thank you." He was glad that she claimed to understand why; maybe she didn't, but it seemed she at least saw why he left in the first place. Maybe not why he ran, but definitely why he left.

"I want to say sorry," she said. "And here, I made you something. It's for you, because before you slept for a hundred years you used to fiddle with things all the time and I thought you'd like it." She practically thrust a small metal object into his hands.

Link looked at it, turning it around in his hands a few times. It was made of a few springs and cogs from old Guardians, and when he twisted a cog or pressed down on a spring the whole thing started moving and spinning. "I- thank you," he said. Zelda beamed at him, and he smiled back.

"I was so stupid," Zelda said. "And inconsiderate. I have no idea how I could have said all of that to you without thinking about how you felt. I understand if you want it all to be over, and I can manage without you, but I'd love it if you could forgive me and we could try again."

Link sighed. He should have known he would never be able to refuse something like that. She was his best friend, after all, and he'd been fine before. Surely they could both adjust. "If I won't slow you down too much. And I...I'm sorry, but I will need breaks sometimes. And it'll take some getting used to."

"Great," Zelda said. She leaned in closer, and Link closed the distance to hug her. "Where do we start?"

**Author's Note:**

> Autistic headcanons are very very close to my heart :) comments are appreciated!


End file.
